Getting Close to the End & My Fears

Let me begin this blog by stating my goal for the year 2019. It is overcoming my fears.  I chose this as my goal, not because I am afraid of trying and doing new things, but because I am afraid of myself and how I limit myself. I listened to a Ted Talk by Jeff Ferris in which he talks of how our fears stop us and how to use the rational of worst case scenario to conquer our fears. This will be an enormous growth year for me because of retirement and trying to get the next chapter of my life going. The first big step is for me to stop my fears as they run through my monkey mind.

My fears are often just minor obstacle, that trip me up. Today’s big fear, and don’t laugh – the workers who are doing my cabinets spilled something on my new floors and I can’t get it out. I have been obsessing and worrying about it and all for the wrong reasons. The reasons have in my monkey mind – it’s brand new, what will people say when they walk in my house and they see the spill, do I have to pull the entire floor up and have it redone, and the biggest fears, what will people think of me and my renovation and why didn’t she have them fix it. Very terrifying fears, aren’t they?

Here’s the deal, I am pretty sure I can take care of the spill marks, it is really just a floor. It is not a reflection on me as a person. What is the worst thing that can happen? I have a floor that in a certain light you see a blobby mark. What about all the spills yet to come? I am meeting with the contractor in a bit and I am going to be relaxed and calm and not be a bitch. He does a great job and it is not their fault, it is just the nature of the floor. You know, just writing this has lifted a dark cloud from my heart.

Now on with the renovation update. I have done 2 bedrooms, office, kitchen, living, and dining rooms. Painting other than a few touchups is done, floors are done, counters are in, and cabinets will be finished today. Appliances will be installed this afternoon or tomorrow. I really love how it has turned out.

One of the most exciting things about doing the renovation has been me learning how to let go of stuff. That is another fear I am overcoming and just might be the topic of my next blog. Enjoy your life and live fearlessly!

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