I can’t believe I have made it this far and am AMAZED how good I feel today. The process has been up and down, almost like riding a wave and there have been moments when I felt like I was drowning. Last week was the low point when I was tired, unhappy with myself, my instructor, and life in general, but I made it through and am both excited to ride the crest of the wave and sad to see the shore in sight.
The only thing left is to prepare and teach a one hour lesson as my final – I will do it! Last night in class, we had to preview a portion of the vinyasa flow lesson planned for our final and then receive the critique. I was nervous, but the corrections and insights into how to make the practice stronger made so much sense. Like anything new we attempt, if we approach it as though we know everything we are missing the mark. It felt so good to hear the instructor make suggestions than I had actually already considered and changes that I know will make the flow smoother.
Riding the wave as it has flowed up and down, I have gained so much more and worked so much harder than I ever imagined. I often found myself feeling like a drop of water, not knowing exactly which part of the wave I was in, the crest or that low point between. Every place in the wave I visited had a purpose. I have questioned myself, come out of my comfort zone and survived. I laughed at myself and with my classmates. I have felt supported and supportive, and built relationships with people I wouldn’t have known if I had not done the training.
Approaching this coming week with nervous anticipation, I ask myself ,”What’s the worse thing that can happen?” The answer is, “Nothing.” I will still pass, I will get my 200 hour RYT, and I will have gained a whole lot of confidence.
This past week at my yoga studio talking with a group of friends, one of the younger male yoga teachers told me he thought I was “pretty bad ass” for undertaking the training. When I think about it, I guess I am, but not because it is “yoga teacher training,” instead it is because I am doing something new, something different, and something challenging that most people of any age don’t consider undertaking. Learning challenges like this continue to help me feel whole and full of life as I ride the wave of “My Sixties Project.” Who knows, when I reach the shore, I may actually start teaching classes.